Friends, my latest article satirizes Jeff Bezos, a.k.a. the guy who brought you Amazon and your talking transistor radio. More accurately, it satirizes the U.S. Senate, which is considering a totally unnecessary budgetary gimmick that will enrich Bezos at considerable cost to you and me. What else is new, huh?
(Capitalist) Pigs...In...Spaaaaaaaace!
If there's one thing that defines the Biden Administration and the modern Democratic Party (and the modern Republican Party too, but who's counting?), it's this: throwing money in all directions!!! Since it's not their money, but your money, you can see why this strategy would be appealing. It purchases our valiant politicians goodwill, either from valuable constituencies rich with voting power, but poor in, uhh, money, or from super-rich donors, whose chief goal in life is to get considerably richer at taxpayer expense. In other words, when the pork starts to flow, everyone's a winner – except the downtrodden middle class, but who cares about them?
A case in point: the U.S. Senate, in its infinite patrician wisdom, is considering a subtle change to the National Defense Authorization Act (usually known as the NDAA). The purpose of this ever-so-minor tweak, which is opposed by the Air Force and the Space Force, is apparently to expand the list of companies eligible to supply launch vehicles for highly-sensitive military missions. The military says the optimal number of private companies that should be involved in sending our most super-secret and critical payloads into space is two. The Senate is inclining to the view that it ought to be three instead. Now why, you ask, would our esteemed elected representatives second-guess the experts in the military itself, especially when doing so would cost, according to the Space Force, something like an extra $5 billion? Curious, no? It doesn't seem to add up...
And yet it does – politically, if not fiscally. The company that would almost surely benefit from this change in the NDAA is called “Blue Origin”, which just happens to be owned, solely and completely, by an obscure fellow named...Jeff Bezos.
Now, you may have heard of old Jeff. He's the bald guy who lost $38 billion in a nasty divorce back in 2019, and today scrapes by on a mere $154 billion fortune. Ouch! He also founded a little company called “Amazon” that you may or may not have done business with...in the last hour (and which sustains its domination of e-commerce by soliciting massive tax breaks and subsidies). Rounding out his C.V. would be ownership of a rag called The Washington Post, which apparently carries quite a bit of weight in the world of (what now passes for) print journalism. Long story short: Jeff is doing pretty well for himself!
Given Jeff's status as the world's third richest man, given his past generosity in terms of political contributions, and given his considerable influence over the media, it only makes sense that the venerable statesmen in the Senate would want to throw several billion dollars in the general direction of his own personal rocket company. Not only does Jeff love money, but he also loves space, and it would truly tickle his fancy to be awarded major contracts by both the U.S. military and NASA to underwrite his sci fi fantasies, including the (repeatedly delayed and technically dubious) heavy-lift “New Glenn” rocket program.
I know what you're thinking: can we, as a country, afford to spend money unnecessarily on over-sized rockets, merely to stroke the ego of a megarich megadonor? Heck, we haven't run out of money yet, have we? Have we? No, as of this moment, we haven't, although interest rates have doubled because of government profligacy, but, as yet, the politicians haven't suffered for it, so everything is under control.
Ergo, let me be the first to congratulate Jeff Bezos on his additional billions! I suppose there's a chance – just a small one – that cooler heads might prevail in the Senate, or even more likely in the House, but, given the way that Washington works, I like old Jeff's chances of cashing in one more time on big government's abject stupidity.
Assuming everything works out for Jeff and his over-priced roman candle, I plan to show up to the inaugural launch of “New Glenn” (realistically, in 2082?) wearing a t-shirt that says: “my elected representatives gave Jeff Bezos $5 billion (and counting), and all I got was this lousy rocket!”
You think I'll get my picture in The Washington Post?
Dr. Nicholas L. Waddy is an Associate Professor of History at SUNY Alfred and blogs at: www.waddyisright.com. He appears on the Newsmaker Show on WLEA 1480/106.9.
And here it is at Townhall:
https://townhall.com/columnists/nicholaswaddy/2023/07/12/capitalist-pigsinspaaaaaaaace-n2625565
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Meanwhile, in other news, El Presidente Trump is asking for a delay in his federal trial for retaining secret documents. Trump's lawyers question whether he can get a fair trial in the midst of a presidential campaign. Ya think??? All of Trump's legal entanglements have been meticulously timed to coincide with the height of politicking in 2024, needless to say, so even if this trial gets delayed there'll be plenty more to mesmerize the nation at a critical juncture. The Deep State knows its business!
https://www.politico.com/news/2023/07/11/trump-classified-documents-trial-date-2024-00105565
The Ukrainians are miffed because NATO, although it assures Ukraine of eventual membership, can't or won't provide a timeline. Hey, Ukraine, I can clear this up for you right now: when will NATO come rushing to your defense, and fight arm in arm with the brave Ukrainian people? When pigs fly, that's when! Pinning your political and strategic future on the West and its fat checkbook (but yellow belly) was always a bad idea.
https://www.newsmax.com/newsfront/zelenskyy-nato-ukraine/2023/07/11/id/1126639/
Machinations are machinating for Tucker Carlson to host several GOP presidential candidates at a "forum" in Iowa. Notably absent would be Donald J. Trump. Oh, conservatives -- your capacity for self-sabotage and internecine strife is infinite!!! Trump apparently takes the view that, since he's got the GOP nomination sewn up, why should be bother to debate anyone? Class act, isn't he?
https://nypost.com/2023/07/10/tucker-carlson-to-host-2024-gop-presidential-primary-forum/
Dr. Waddy from Jack: I fear that by 2082 your picture will be on the Post Office wall rather than in The People's Exclusive Post, for incorrigible political insolence. AOC will be marking her 53d year as Perfect Leader and will mandate as celebration a purge of all memory of detested mocracy and those who practiced its consummate evil.
ReplyDeletedemocracy that is.
ReplyDeleteOy! By that time, AOC will be Joe Biden's age -- so, in other words, in her prime. Truth be told, I'll probably be singing her praises by then. It's either that, or break rocks in northern Alaska. I'm no dummy!
ReplyDeleteDr. Waddy from Jack: Actually I don't blame DJT. Why get enmired in this powerful nonsense, this premature carnival of comical humbug?He's the first candidate since TR to have the advantage of former Presidency so why not save his nonetheless remarkable stamina for the main event? Jimmy Carter pioneered these infamously prolix two year spectacles; perhaps someone should exemplify a sane approach(?) I'll admit, my friends at Fox are guilty of helping to intensify this hugger mugger. Why, it only took one day to put Churchill in the driver's seat!
ReplyDeleteDr. Waddy from Jack: The antiamericans will persist in their personal onslaught on heretic DJT as they think best, unencumbered by moral strictures, in reaction to any legal defense levelled by DJT. They must be defeated by main political and legal power, exercised with the resolve vital when facing an opponent which is blithely eager to use "any means necessary, ANY means".
ReplyDeleteRAY TO DR. NICK
ReplyDeleteI'm seriously interested to know what caused the "evolution" in your thinking about Trump. I'm sure you have your good reasons as to why you think he is no longer our best choice for president. However, I have the feeling that your change of heart about him was not just because of DeSantis presenting himself as a candidate. Thanks for any explanation you care to offer.
Jack, the primary process is indeed nonsensical, in countless ways, and I can see why Trump would want to keep himself "above" it. And yet...he isn't! He's regularly and viciously attacking numerous rivals, which presumably means he takes them seriously AS RIVALS. Anyway, I don't begrudge him the right to refrain from debating his opponents, but I do think it's a risky strategy that might backfire, especially in the early states.
ReplyDeleteRay, I'm happy to offer my two cents. My loyalty to Trump is mostly a factor of his political success. He won in 2016, became president, and became the standard-bearer of conservatism, whether I would have chosen him in that role or not (I wouldn't have). Ergo, any conservative that underminded Trump, 2017-2021, was undermining conservatism itself. Now, in 2024 he may be our champion again. If so, I'll swallow my doubts and support him (probably). That doesn't change the fact that he's a deeply flawed man and leader. He's thin-skinned, impulsive, and essentially egotistical. He's capable of almost limitless stupidity and self-sabotage. I supported his effort to contest the results of the 2020 election, because it was vitally important that we win it, for America's sake, not Trump's. He screwed that up just as he has screwed up so much else. His arguments for invalidating the election were erratic, poorly supported with evidence, and way too diffuse. What's more, he never declared victory, and never announced that he would refuse to leave office -- undercutting his own position. He staffed his administration with countless RINOs who worked behind the scenes to ensure he left office -- and he did. Moreover, in the first place, he allowed the 2020 election to be conducted on terms that made it highly unlikely that he could win. Thus, he failed to use the powers of his office to ensure "election integrity", and, if a president can't get the job done, how can a mere candidate? So, in short, I see Trump as a bombastic bumbler. He's the greatest thing that ever happened to the modern Democratic Party (witness 2018, 2020, 2022, the rise of censorship, etc.). I have very minimal confidence in his ability to recapture the White House -- but at the same time I realize he may be our only hope.
RAY TO NICK
DeleteThanks.
An excellent portrayal of DJT.
ReplyDeleteGiven all that, it's always been surprising to this reader how well adjusted his children seem to be.
One can find numerous examples of high profile and influential kids who are absolutely ruined by their deeply flawed parental environment. Our current president case in point.
Was it their mother's influence? A first rate au pair? Or maybe his interactions as a father met with a higher standard?
If the latter, is it possible that at the heart of it all, DJT does hold to values we may not see in his "thin-skinned, impulsive, and essentially egotistical" political persona?
Dr. Waddy fromJack: Your misgivings about DJT are well taken and well supported by you, yet. . . I would think a restored President DJT would be a man determined to get in the face of an american left which has made of him arguably the most sorely tried political figure in modern American history. They deserve to have his wrath directed at them for personal offense and because he knows that it's a foretaste of how they would rule. He is crude but the antiamerican left went to the wall for the worst bounder ever to pollute our Executive Office, a rollickingly disdainful and presumptuous carnival huckster and an individual of consummate personal obscenity, Slick Willy. Schumer ,who exemplifies the pack slavering for DJT and Trump nation's destruction and is a veteran of Clinton's richly deserved impeachment for lying under oath and thereby blithely denying an American woman a proper day in court, sneered that his impeachment was "ridiculous". 'Course ol Slick knew about them no'count women , yes he did and he just "knew "one when he saw one.My point: though the left would be loathe to renounce it's consequent hypocrisy in viciously attacking DJT's character it is a telling and condemning strike against them.
ReplyDeleteDr. Waddy from Jack: A leader convinced of the amoral, hate imbued mien of the antiamerican left is what we sorely need. The time for compromise other than that which is temporary and of tactical necessity is OVER! Rinoism is pusillanimous, cringing subjection, utterly discredited by dolorous experience with the purely expeditious american left. An hombre like DJT says what we want to say and will, I think if reelected, hasten to work political destruction of an existential threat he knows best.At his age and material well being he is yet a happy warrior; John L. Lewis quoted it best: "they smote me hip and thigh and right merrily did I return their blows". Sure, he has an ego but what he's doing benefits us; we must not abandon him in his time of maximum hazard!
ReplyDeleteRay, de nada!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Richie. You make a fair point. Trump is essentially an actor. He's playing a part -- that of BRAGGART PAR EXCELLENCE -- presumably because it's always served him well to play it. His interactions with his family and friends may be wildly different than what we see on television. Maybe he's a kind and loving father. I hope so. As for me, I can only judge his political persona and his record, and I'm troubled by what I see.
Jack, if what you want in a GOP standard-bearer is a man who will "get in the face of the Left" and genuinely hates them, you've found your man! Personally, I'd prefer someone who does more than annoy the Left and can actually beat it. I'm still waiting for that man to show up.
Dr. Waddy from Jack: Feckless Hillary provides us an example of one visibly consumed by hatred and determined to vindicate it. Her intemperance cost her her throne.New Yawk street smart DJT is brassy, yeah, but he doesn't waste his time with enervating hate, I think.He goes after his opponent tooth and claw; talking trash is a big part of it.
ReplyDeleteDr. Waddy from Jack: In my career I had daily contact with products of New Yawk's "downtown". DJT does not manifest their criminal insouciance but he does have the moxie.
ReplyDelete